


This is my winter song to you

by 5ftjewishcactus



Series: Winter Song [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Background Case, Christmas Lights, Falling In Love, First Dates, Friends to Lovers, Holidays, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired By Tumblr, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17031969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus
Summary: "I just want someone to take me out.""Like on a date or with a sniper?""Surprise me."***After a particularly rough case, Connor surprises Hank with a date. Hank reluctantly agrees to it, mainly because he thinks its all he'll ever get from the man he's secretly in love with.





	This is my winter song to you

Hank groaned as he stared down at the case file in front of him. It was a shitty case. They had no leads and very little evidence. Hank hated it. A man dead, stabbed to death leaving his pregnant girlfriend alone. The victim, Jon Fuss, appeared to be a good man with no enemies, worked hard at his job, well-liked by his peers and his boss. It made no sense. Hank shoved the case file aside and leaned his head against his hands.

“Ugh,” he groaned. “I just want someone to take me out.”

“Like on a date or with a sniper?” Connor asked, looking over at Hank, slightly concerned.

“Surprise me.”

Hank glanced up, wondering about Connor's reaction only to see Connor tilt his head as his LED spun yellow a moment before it went back to steady blue. Hank was about to ask what it was about when Miller walked over to them.

“CCTV from a local convenient store caught a man leaving the crime scene ten minutes after the time of death,” he said, handing Hank a tablet with the footage.

“Great. What info do we have on the guy?” Hank asked.

“His name’s Mike Sheridan, forty-two, lives a few blocks from the crime scene. Used to work with Fuss,” Miller replied.

Hank watched the video and sure enough a man, who looked roughly forty years old and was trying to hide his face in the collar of his clearly blood stained jacket, exited the building and headed into the alley.

“Sounds like he might be our guy, or at least know something.” Hank turned to Connor. “Let’s go talk to him.”

Connor, who had come around to look at the video and analyze it, nodded and followed Hank out to his car. As Hank drove, he turned his usual heavy metal music down and glanced at Connor.

"So, what do you think?" he asked, motioning towards the tablet Connor was still analyzing.

"Well, Sheridan is clearly trying to avoid being seen, being identified. And the blood splatter on his jacket does match that with a stabbing. If he wasn't the murderer, he was there when it happened," Connor replied.

"Shit."

Sheridan turned out to be their murderer, confessed within minutes of Hank and Connor stopping by to ask him questions. Had apparently killed Fuss over his ex-wife, Fuss's girlfriend, leaving him for Fuss after he'd been fired from the same company for embezzlement.

“Jealousy is ugly, but especially when it turns murderous,” Hank said, shutting the car door on Sheridan.

Connor frowned. “I don’t think I’ve experienced jealous yet myself."

“It isn’t pleasant, I’ll tell you that.”

Connor looked at Hank, his head at a tilt again. Hank glared at him, a warning if Connor was trying to analyze him, which he knew Connor did despite Hank's many protests against it, but usually he was stealthier about it. Connor straightened his head and his LED flashed a brilliant blue. Hank sighed.

“Let’s get this guy back to the precinct.”

“Of course, Lieutenant.”

Hank completely forgot the earlier conversation, too busy recording Sheridan's confession and filing the necessary paperwork. He also made the uncomfortable call to Brenda, Fuss's girlfriend, letting her know they'd caught the murderer and that it unfortunately was her ex-husband. She couldn’t believe it, said Sheridan and Fuss had stayed friends, even after Sheridan had been fired, even after their divorce. Hank told her sometimes jealousy made people do terrible things. Tried to reassure her when she blamed herself.

Phone call done, Hank scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair.

"I'm going home. Want a ride?" Hank asked, standing to grab his jacket off the back of his chair.

"No, thank you," Connor replied. "Try to have a good night, Hank."

"Yeah."

He blasted his heavy metal on the way home and tried to drown himself in the bottom of a beer bottle. Then a second and a third, before giving up for sleep for the night. Sumo curled up on the bed with him, Hank had long given up keeping the dog from sleeping on the bed even before Cole passed away. He curled up against the dog, burying his face into Sumo's soft fur. He hated the world sometimes. He'd chosen to raise Cole as a single parent when his ex-whatever had decided she didn't want to be a mom. She'd called once, after the funeral, telling Hank she was sorry. Hank had hung up on her. Hadn't wanted to talk to her or anyone else. Had convinced himself that he didn't want anyone around out of pity. Kept everyone at arm's length after that.

Until Connor. Having an android who quite literally shoved his way into Hank's life had shown Hank that people could care again. That he didn't have to keep people at arm's length. When Connor had been allowed back at work, had been officially made a detective with the DPD, Hank had asked Fowler for his partner back. Fowler had agreed because working with Connor, the deviant case, had been the first time Hank had shown real interest in a case in a long while. Hank wanted to prove he was still a good detective, despite his attitude the last couple years.

Connor had reminded Hank what it was like to be alive. He'd been merely existing, one blurry, hungover day to alcohol fueled night. Connor made Hank want to be better. He knew he'd never be the man he once was, had lost too much for that, but he could try to be a person again. Among the living. Didn't stop the bad days, the bad cases, from crawling under Hank's skin, making him long for the bottom of a bottle. He'd moved from full bottles of whiskey to bottles of beer. He knew he should try harder, go to AA or some shit, but somehow that felt like more weakness that Hank wasn't ready to face.

Instead, he made sure to stop himself after three bottles of beer, two if he was feeling strong enough for it, and going to bed. Sumo had been his only constant. Didn't judge Hank for how much he drank or when he cried himself to sleep. Tonight was one of those nights. He clung to Sumo, who whined but didn't try to move himself from Hank's side. Cried because of Brenda's unborn baby, going to grow up without a father. For himself, because of everything he'd lost.

***

Two more days went by, dealing with the Fuss case, making sure Sheridan got locked up for murder. With a full confession and cooperation, there wouldn't be a trial. Sheridan was going straight to prison. Hank and Connor were onto the next case. Or the interim between cases. Hank worked on paperwork. Never ending paperwork. Connor sat across from him, interfacing with his terminal, working on his own paperwork. Much faster than Hank ever could. Sometimes he was jealous. Wished it would take him only a matter of minutes to get through it all. Other times, he liked knowing that there were no current cases to work, no new murders, so he could sit at his desk and type away at his slow pace.

"Connor, my office," Fowler said.

Hank looked up and watched as Connor stood and went to Fowler's office. Once inside, Connor sat down across from Fowler who seemed to talk for several minutes before Connor replied. Connor's LED spun yellow the entire time. If it involved the case, surely Fowler would've called them both in. Unless Connor had mishandled the evidence, which how the fuck would he when he was a walking, talking forensics lab? Hank stood, ready to go in there to defend his partner, when Fowler smiled, actually fucking smiled, and motioned Connor out of the office. Connor's LED returned to blue as he exited.

"What the hell was that all about?" Hank asked.

"I'm finally receiving back pay for my work during our first case. Fowler wanted to make sure I was properly paid for my work during that week."

"Jesus. They're paying you for that? I mean, it's good that they are, but shit, I barely got paid for that week."

Connor looked at Hank quizzically.

"Fowler didn't exactly appreciate how much we spent at the Eden Club, given we let the girls go." And also the whole punching Perkins thing but Hank accepted his punishment because it had been 100% worth it.

"I'll just have to reimburse you then."

"No. Absolutely not.” Hank shook his head. “Besides it’s your money. Spend it on stuff you want. Like… your fishes.”

Connor shook his head. He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and clicked off the monitor on his desk.

"Now where are you going?" Hank asked.

"We are going home. Fowler gave us the rest of the day off and tomorrow, too. Said we earned it after the Fuss case."

Hank wasn't going to argue with that. He quickly finished the file he was working on and save it, before grabbing his own jacket.

"Want a ride home?"

Connor nodded. "I'd like that."

Hank smiled. "You could come over. Sumo misses you."

"Maybe tomorrow. I've got some things to work on at home."

"Yeah, I'll be home."

Connor smiled back at Hank. They walked to the car in companionable silence. Hank left it to Connor if the music played or not. Sometimes he'd even let Connor chose the music they listened to, even if it meant he picked something Hank wouldn't. But he liked that Connor was finding things he liked on his own. While he did like dogs and listening to Knights of the Black Death, he loved fishes and classical music. He had a whole wall of his apartment that was just fish tanks. Three different ones, for each of the different fishes he had. Each with their own setups and requirements. Connor had researched it all before buying the supplies and the fishes.

The car pulled up out in front of Connor's apartment building. Hank turned the music off and turned to look at Connor.

"Thank you, Hank," Connor said.

"You're welcome. And you can come over any time tomorrow."

"Tomorrow then."

Connor climbed out of the car and headed to his apartment. Hank watched him until he disappeared inside. Old habit from his youth, making sure his friends and loved ones were safely inside before driving away. Even before he'd become a cop, he wanted to keep people safe. Even though Connor could handle himself, Hank still waited every time he dropped him off.

Heavy metal filled the silence as Hank drove home. Sumo greeted him excitedly.

"Hey Sumo, papa's home early. Just you and me tonight. But Connor might stop by tomorrow." Hank ruffled Sumo's fur as the dog drooled on him. "You're a good boy, Sumo. Yes you are."

He stood and removed his jacket, heading into the kitchen where he refilled Sumo's water bowl with fresh water and grabbing a beer from the fridge. He didn't open it yet, just held the cool glass in his hand while he stared into the fridge contemplating what to eat for dinner.

"Probably gonna be take out," he muttered to himself.

He eyed the beer bottle in his hand and decided it was too early for one just yet, stuck it back in the fridge. He went to the living room and flopped down onto the couch. Sumo soon joined him, jumping up to curl up on the cushion next to Hank. Flipping through the channels and petting Sumo, Hank resigned himself to a quiet night in with take out for dinner and a beer with his name on it in the fridge and his faithful companion to keep him company.

***

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

The sound of the doorbell woke Hank from the unintentional nap he'd taken on the couch.

"Fuck," he groaned, as he stretched out his stiff limbs and stood up.

Brrrrring!

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Jesus."

He opened the door to find Connor standing on his front porch wearing a suit, nicer than the one he'd been wearing earlier at work, and holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Hello Hank," Connor said with a smile.

"Hi. What's… what’s with… all this?" Hank asked, motioning at Connor’s appearance and the flowers.

"You said to surprise you. I picked the date option."

"Date option?"

Hank shook his head and then remembered the conversation they'd had before the lead on Sheridan. Connor's LED was spinning yellow and he was frowning.

"You were joking. I'm sorry… I'll just…"

He turned to leave but Hank reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Wait."

Connor looked at him.

"Come inside. Please."

Connor nodded and followed Hank inside. He stood awkwardly by the door, still holding the bouquet. Hank scratched the back of his neck, thinking of what to say next. He had been joking, at the time. But he'd be lying if he said the thought of going on a date with Connor wasn't intriguing. Connor was handsome. Anyone with eyes could see that. Hank certainly could. Had… even before he'd really wanted to admit it. But sitting across from him every day, spending time with him as he found himself, Hank knew what he felt. He also knew that he was old and not exactly what someone would consider attractive. Especially not someone like Connor. He could have any human or android he wanted.

"I am sorry, Hank. I didn't… I only wanted to do something nice for you. We've been working so hard and I know the Fuss case wasn't easy."

Hank stepped forward and held Connor's hand that wasn't holding the boutique. "Thank you. Before you, I've kind of been an asshole. I forgot what it was like to have people care."

Connor squeezed Hank's hand. "I do care about you, Hank. A lot. You're… important to me."

Hank smiled. "You're important to me, too."

"I understand if you don't want to, but I did plan a rather elaborate date that I would still very much like to take you on it. If you'll let me."

"Do I have time for a shower?"

Connor's LED spun for a minute. "Make it a quick one."

Hank nodded. "You can put those in the kitchen. Uh- I think there might still be a vase in the cupboard."

"Okay. Now go."

Hank hurried down the hall. He went straight into the bathroom, accidentally slamming the door as he quickly peeled off his clothes and climbed into the shower. He swore at the burst of cold water that greeted him, before the water warmed up. He almost couldn't believe it. He was going on a date with Connor. One that Connor had planned. Elaborate date. He wondered exactly what that entailed. What would Connor plan for a date? Hank quickly rinsed the shampoo from his hair, swearing as some of it ran down his face. He hadn't been this nervous for a date since high school. Even if it was just Connor doing something nice for him, Hank was… happy. Connor made him happy. And even if this was just for tonight, his partner, his friend, doing something nice for him, well Hank could live with that.

Rinsed off and wrapped haphazardly in a towel, Hank dashed across the hall to his bedroom and looked through his closet for something decent to wear. Connor had dressed up and he deserved to have Hank dressed up too. He skipped the portion of his closet full of tacky, multi-patterned shirts and went towards the back, where he did actually have a couple of nice suits. One of them was the one he'd worn to the funeral. The other… his father had taught him it was always good to have a nice suit, just in case. Hank was thankful for that advise now, as he quickly dressed in his nice suit. He ran his fingers through his damp hair. Wasn't much he could do to style it, grabbed a hair tie off the dresser and pulled it back into a small bun, so it was off his face and neck. If he’d had time, he'd have trim his beard, too.

When Hank stepped out of his bedroom, he found Connor kneeling on the floor giving Sumo belly rubs. He turned to look at Hank and smiled as he stood up. Hank had a sense of déjà vu, mind flashing back to the night Connor had broken into his house. That night was the first time he'd seen Connor smile, really smile. The first time he thought he could see a glimpse of deviancy within Connor. The smile now was even better than that one. Because Connor was a deviant, alive and full of life. And he was looking at Hank like he was the most important person in the room. Which Hank realized made sense since it was only the two of them, but the look still got to Hank. For a moment, he could pretend that all of this wasn't just Connor being nice. That it actually meant something. That it was real.

"You look very handsome," Connor said.

"Thank you," Hank replied, trying not to blush. "So do you."

Connor ducked his head. Sumo boofed at them, at the attention no longer being on him, before retreating to his bed by the fireplace. Hank chuckled.

"Is it alright if I drive? Or would you prefer to?" Connor asked.

Hank appreciated Connor asking. He'd let Connor drive once before, when he'd been too drunk still to drive. But usually Hank drove them around. He knew why Connor asked, knew Connor understood like only those who knew, like Fowler, why he drove his car, as old as it was and in the age of self-driving cars. If it were anyone else, he'd probably prefer to drive. This was Connor though. Hank trusted Connor.

"You can drive. I trust you."

Connor smiled again. Hank tossed him the keys and grabbed his jacket. It was still winter in Detroit and despite his suit jacket, it was still gonna be cold for any durations outside.

"Be good, Sumo. I'll be back later," he said.

“Bye, Sumo.”

Sumo boofed at them softly from his bed. Hank followed Connor out to the car. It didn’t feel too weird getting into the passenger seat. Connor turned on some of the classical music he liked and Hank let him. He was taking Hank out on a date, the least Hank could do was let him pick the music as they drove to their destination. Hank watched the streets go by, tried to determine where they were going. Soon enough they ended up passed downtown, beyond where Hank was familiar with. Newer buildings had gone up following the revolution. Android owned and operated. Places where androids and humans could coexist. Markus and the rest of Jericho had done a lot to ensure Detroit was safe for both androids and humans following the military stand-off outside the camps.

Laws were slowly being drafted and brought before Congress but they were slow to pass. In the meantime, Detroit has become the example for the rest of the United States. Which Hank realized was maybe partially why Connor had brought him here, to that part of town. Especially when he pulled the car into the parking lot of the first android owned restaurant. Both human and android cooks were employed there, paid equally for their work.

“Is this all right?” Connor asked.

“Yes.” Hank didn’t want to disappoint Connor. He was nervous, admittedly, but also curious. It’d be interesting to try the food. “Are you? I mean… do they offer… I don’t know… stuff you can… uh- consume?”

Connor chuckled. “Yes, they do. Though they are working on upgrades to allow androids to eat, like the child models do now but for every model.”

Hank nodded. He didn’t particularly like the ‘they’ Connor referred to. Kamski had come out of retirement following the revolution to help with creating a more android accepting and welcoming world. He and his mini army of RT600s were working with Simon and Josh to create the android advancements. Hank still didn’t trust Kamski but Connor assured him that Simon and Josh were keeping an eye on the man. It only slightly put Hank at ease.

“Shall we?” Connor asked.

Hank took a deep breathe and nodded. “Yeah.”

Once inside they were greeted by a hostess standing at podium.

“Reservation for Anderson, please,” Connor said.

“Ah yes, right this way,” the woman said and it wasn’t until she turned that Hank realized she was an android too.

She led them over to a table on the other side of the restaurant in a secluded corner. The lights were dimmed, meant to be somehow romantic mood lighting, and a vase of flowers adorned the table. The hostess set the menus in front of them, as they each down on opposite sides of the table. One side of the menu listed android friendly meals and drinks while the other side listed human friendly meals and drinks. The hostess left them to look over the menu. Hank eyed the alcoholic drinks, the selection of beers and wines. He didn’t want to get drunk, didn’t want to ruin the mood of the date. Looked over the non-alcoholic drinks instead. Decided to order a soda. That’d be good.

When their waitress arrived, Hank noticed she was human as she pulled out pen and paper to write down their orders. Most places he’d been in the past, android waitstaff didn’t need to write down orders to remember them. She introduced herself and offered to take their drink orders. Hank ordered a soda and Connor ordered a lemon water. Their waitress left to fetch their drinks while Hank continued to look over the menu. Many of the food options had their calories listed next to them and it made Hank feel self conscious. He already knew he didn’t eat well and Connor had commented on more than one occasion on Hank’s dietary habits. He didn’t want to disappoint Connor now.

“Uh- I’m struggling here. What… uh-?” Hank took a deep breathe. “Any suggestions?”

Connor frowned. “Hank, I didn’t bring you out to judge you. Have whatever you’d like.”

Hank stares at the menu. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Oh Hank. You couldn’t possibly disappoint me. As long as you have a good time tonight.”

Hank looked up at Connor who was looking at him so earnestly. For a moment Hank could let himself believe this date was real.

“Okay.”

Connor smiled. Hank went back to looking over the menu. He’d finally decided what he wanted to eat when their waitress arrived with their drinks. Once she’d left again, Hank tried to think of something for them to talk about. It’d been so long since he’d been on a date and most of them had been with friends of friends and not his co-worker/partner/best friend.

“Uh- how are your fishes?” Hank asked.

“They’re doing well. Nigel, the dwarf gourami, has adjusted well to his tank. He hid a lot the first few days. I wasn’t sure if he was going to need a larger tank or a different environment to the one I initially setup.”

Hank smiled as he watched Connor talk. Watching the way his face lit up as he spoke, how fond of his fishes he was.

“Nigel’s the one you bought because of the fish from your first mission.”

Connor beamed at him. “Yes. You remembered.”

“Of course I did. Saving that fish was your first act of deviancy. Brought you one step closer to me. I mean being my partner.”

Connor blushed as Hank spoke and ducked his head down. After the revolution, Connor had spent several days with Markus and the others trying to figure out why he’d become deviant. Hank still didn’t fully understand all the details, something about a zen garden inside Connor’s mind that contained an AI he interacted with, had said he’d been meant to deviate all along, had tried to take Connor over and use him to kill Markus. It didn’t make sense, especially not to Hank, but Connor had said it didn’t matter. He was his own person now. Hank had helped show him how to be alive. Which was exactly how Hank felt about Connor. They’d helped each other with the whole being alive thing.

“And your betta? He’s doing better?” Hank asked.

“Yes, Clancy is doing much better. Turns out the filter had malfunctioned and was actually polluting the water. He’s been fine since I installed a new filter. This one had a much better rating.”

Hank nodded. “That’s good. Glad that… Clancy is doing better.”

Connor gave Hank a look. It wasn’t quite disapproving, but it was close. The first time he’d told Hank his betta’s name, Hank had laughed. Hank still thought it was ridiculous to name a fish Clarence and the nickname Clancy wasn’t really an improvement. Hank smiled back at Connor.

“And your ghost shrimp? Does he have a name yet?”

“Yes, actually. Dickens.”

Hank looked at Connor, eyebrow raised in question. “Dickens?”

“Yes. For Charles Dickens. I recently read his story A Christmas Carol which features many ghosts. Seemed fitting for a ghost shrimp.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

Connor smiled again and Hank couldn’t help but smile back. Connor clearly adored his fishes and Hank, well, he adored Connor. Even with ridiculous names like Nigel and Clancy and Dickens, Hank could listen to Connor take about his fishes for hours because of how happy them made him. Hank had in fact listened to Connor talk for hours about his fishes before he’d even had them because he’d been weighing the pros and cons of each type and whether he’d be able to maintain each aquarium as needed for each fish. Hank had listened and encouraged Connor when he could, despite his own lack of knowledge of fishes and aquariums, it was clear Connor had put a lot of thought into owning fishes. Had even made sure to find an apartment that would allow him to have them in the first place.

Their food soon arrived and Hank ate happily. He was actually pleased with his choice, both picking something he wanted to eat and something he hoped Connor would approve of. Chicken Alfredo with broccoli, with a side of brown rice. Connor’s own dish looked like some sort of smurf soup. Hank tried hard not to stare as Connor took several careful sips from his spoon, but it was weird enough to see Connor eating, even weirder when it looked like he was eating smurf jizz.

“It’s a thirium based… broth… I suppose is the correct term. It’s very difficult to make thirium based foods for androids that don’t ruin the integrity of the thirium thus making it… useless when consumed,” Connor explained.

“Uh-huh.”

“Until the proper upgrades are completed and implemented, this will have to do. I’m sorry if it’s weird.”

Hank shook his head, feeling like an asshole. “No, don’t apologize. Enjoy your thirium soup thing.”

Connor nodded once, smiling softly. Hank turned his attention to his own food, stabbing at a piece of broccoli and hating himself a little bit for making Connor uncomfortable. They both ate in silence for several minutes before Connor reached across the table and gently placed his hand over one of Hank’s. Hank looked up at him and the look on Connor’s face made his self directed anger melt away. Connor was smiling at him, eyes bright and sparkling, looking at Hank like he was the greatest thing he’d laid eyes on. It was a lot to take in. Hank’s heart ached with how badly he wanted it to be real, how badly he wanted Connor to truly be his, to date, and share dinners and more with.

“Thank you for agreeing to this, even if you’re been joking originally,” Connor said.

Hank shook his head. “I should be thanking you for planning this. I really do appreciate it, Connor. Thank you… for being such a great… friend.”

Connor nodded, squeezing Hank’s hand. Hank squeezed Connor’s hand in return and held his gaze. Their waitress returning to make sure their meals were as desired and to see if their drinks needed refilling broke them out of their little bubble. They finished eating, Connor telling Hank how he’d reconnected with the Tracis, now going by Echo and Ripple, who were doing well within New Jericho.

After they finished eating, Connor paid the bill, insisted since he was the one who’d brought Hank out on the date. Hank only grumbled a little because honestly it felt good to be treated for a change.

“If you’re up for it, I do have more planned but I understand if you’d rather go home,” Connor said, as they walked out to the car.

Hank scratched the back of his neck. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”

Connor smiled, beaming at Hank who couldn’t help but smile back because Connor’s smiles were infectious and Hank was honestly excited to see what Connor had planned for them next. He let Connor drive again, of course, not wanting to ruin the surprise. They soon returned to familiar territory and eventually Hank suspected he knew where they were going. Sure enough, Connor pulled into the parking lot near the local park. Hank could see from their parking spot that the park was decorated with bright Christmas lights. It was two weeks until Christmas and Hank had been trying not to think about it. Another Christmas without… without Cole.

“Is this alright?” Connor asked, reading Hank with only a glance, his LED spinning yellow.

Hank looked out at the bright lights and the snow and the holiday cheer and then back at Connor. It was his first Christmas, their first Christmas together. Hank nodded. He was trying so hard to be better, to not slink into himself and hide from the world. It would still hurt, every year, every time Hank was reminded of what he’d lost, but he knew he had to face it. And with Connor next to him, Hank knew he could at least try.

“Yeah, this is fine,” Hank said.

Connor nodded, his LED returning to steady blue. Hank followed him out of the car and towards the entrance to the park. As they neared, Hank heard a soft neigh followed by a horse drawn carriage coming into view.

“They still do this?” he asked, amazed.

“The website said it’s a long standing tradition to view the holiday lights from the comfort and warmth of the carriage,” Connor replied.

Hank nodded. “My parents used to bring my sister and I to see the lights here, when we were kids. I didn’t think they still did it. I never thought to…” he let the thought trail off.

“I’m sorry.” Connor placed his hand on Hank’s arm. “We really don’t have to stay.”

Hank turned to face Connor, making sure to keep eye contact. “No, I want to. I want to build new memories. With you.”

Connor’s face was unreadable for a moment and Hank worried he’d said the wrong thing.

“Oh Hank,” Connor said, smiling softly at him.

Connor’s hand felt warm where it rested on his arm, grounding Hank and keeping him from disappearing into the dark memories in the back of his mind. He stepped awkwardly, not wanting to lose that warmth but wanting Connor closer. He pulled Connor to him, much like he had the morning after the revolution outside Chicken Feed. Held Connor close as the other man wrapped his arms around him. Tears stung at Hank’s eyes, stinging from the cold air, but Hank let them fall anyway.

“Cole would’ve liked you,” Hank said quietly against Connor’s neck, warmth radiating from everywhere they touched.

“I wish I could’ve known him.”

Hank nodded. In another life, another universe, a perfect world where Hank could have his son and his partner. When Hank finally pulled back, Connor reached up and brushed the tears away.

“The lights are waiting,” Hank said, motioning towards the carriage with a tilt of his head.

Connor nodded, even as he looked over Hank not so subtly. Hank led them to the carriage and the driver smiled at them.

“Good evening, gentlemen. My name is Shawn. I’ll be your carriage driver for the evening. There’s a thermos of fresh hot chocolate and plenty of blankets. The ride will take us through the park once, lasting about half an hour. If you want to stop for pictures, please let me know. Otherwise, enjoy the ride and the glistening lights.”

Hank climbed up into the carriage and Connor followed behind him. They situated themselves so they sat together looking out across the park. They draped one blanket over their laps. Hank grabbed the thermos and poured himself a cup. The carriage began to move as Hank held the warm cup between his hands, feeling the warmth across his fingers. Christmas music played from speakers built into the carriage. Connor shifted slightly, leaning against Hank. Several trees were decorated with various red and green lights, gently flashing with seemingly random patterns.

A few other trees had soft blue lights that shifted in shimmering waves up and down the length of the trees. Wreathes and giant red bows hung from the lamps that existed within the park all year round, giving them a festive feel. Icicle lights were draped between a couple archways, white light sparkling as snow began to fall around them.

Hank sipped his hot chocolate, the warmth blossoming across his tongue, sweet chocolate and a hint of peppermint tickling his taste buds.

“May I have a sip?” Connor asked.

“Yeah.”

Hank held the cup out to Connor who placed his hands over Hank’s and tipped the cup slightly, a small amount of liquid slipping into his mouth. His LED spun it’s still steady blue, but Hank knew Connor was analyzing the flavors.

“I like it.”

Hank smiled. “Me too.”

They smiled at each other before Connor pulled his hands away. Hank shivered as the cold air brushed along his knuckles and he pulled the mug close to his chest again, wishing he’d thought to bring his gloves. He turned his attention back to the lights. After a moment, Connor leaned his head against Hank's shoulder. Hank glanced at him and smiled. He carefully sipped his hot chocolate so he wouldn't disturb Connor with his movements. Once his mug was empty, he set it down on the seat next to him and then bundled his hands into the blankets.

"Here," Connor said, reaching into the blanket to hold Hank's hands with his own.

His hands were warm, warmer than they had any right being having been exposed to the cold the same as Hank's. Perks of being an android, Hank supposed and shifted his hands to hold Connor's hands in his own. As the carriage continued around the park, Hank leaned his head against Connor’s.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“You’re welcome.”

As the carriage made its finally loop towards the entrance, Hank savored the warmth of Connor next to him, Connor’s warm hands held in his own. How truly happy he felt for the first time in years.

Once back at the entrance to the park, the carriage stopped. Shawn offered them the last of the hot chocolate as they exited the carriage. Hank tipped him generously before following Connor back to the car. Connor turned the radio to a station playing Christmas music as he drove them to their next location.

Familiar streets and houses came into view and Hank felt his heart sink. He wasn’t ready for the night to end, wasn’t ready to go home. But it was late and cold and Connor had taken Hank on an elaborate date, greater than any date he’d been on. The music shut off as Connor pulled the car into the driveway. Hank stepped out of the car and headed to the front door, Connor behind him. He stopped at the door, realizing Connor still had the keys. He turned around to face Connor who was standing at the edge of the small porch.

“Thank you, again, for tonight. I had a great time,” Hank said.

“Thank you, for coming out with me. Despite the misunderstanding.”

Connor held out Hank’s keys. As Hank stepped forward to take them back, Connor leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. It was brief, barely a brush of lips.

“Good night, Hank,” Connor said.

He turned to leave but Hank held his hand, pulling him back. He held Connor’s hand, thumb rubbing along the back of Connor’s hand. His eyes flicked to Connor’s lips, wondering if they’d feel as warm against his own lips as they did against his cheek. When he looked back at Connor’s eyes, he lost his nerve.

“Stay. Please. We can… curl up on the couch and watch a movie,” he said instead.

Connor smiled. “I’d like that.”

Hank let them inside the house. He slipped off his coat and suit jacket before rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. Connor did the same. Hank sank down onto the couch and pat the spot next to him, looking up at Connor. He moved to sit next to Hank, leaning into him like he had in the carriage. This time Hank put his arms around Connor. As Hank flipped through the channels to find them a movie to watch, Connor shifted to look up at him. Hank looked at him and before his nerves could get the better of him, he leaned in and kissed him.

It was awkward at first, the angle a little off until Connor shifted to better face Hank. His lips were warm against Hank’s, as was the rest of him.

“Mmm… Hank,” Connor moaned against Hank’s lips.

Hank groaned. If he hadn’t already been head over heels for Connor before, he definitely was now. Hank wrapped his arms around Connor’s waist, as Connor straddled his lap.

“I’ve wanted this… wanted you,” Connor said.

He cupped Hank’s cheek, fingers curling into his beard.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hank asked, kissing Connor’s palm.

“I was scared.” Connor looked at Hank, brown eyes softened. “That you wouldn’t want me.”

Hank shook his head. “How could I possibly not want you? You saved me.” He placed his hand against Connor’s cheek. “You make me feel alive.”

Connor leaned in and kissed him again, a small chaste kiss. “You saved me, too.”

Hank chuckled as he rubbed his thumb along Connor’s cheek. Those three words were on the tip of his tongue, but he was scared, it was only their first date. But he loved Connor and he’d already lost so much.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Connor smiled and laughed, happy and infectious laughter. “I love you, too.”

Hank pulled him closer and kissed him, relishing in the feel of those soft, warm lips against his own slightly chapped ones. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, needing air, he leaned his forehead against Connor’s.

“We can still watch a movie, if you’d like,” Connor said.

“Hmm… maybe for tonight. At least for now.”

Connor nodded and climbed off Hank’s lap. He leaned against Hank like he had before and Hank put his arms around him. Connor’s hand found his and linked their fingers together. With a spin of his LED, the TV flipped to some romantic comedy from Hank’s youth. Hank chuckled but watched the film anyway as he held Connor in his arms.

Later, once the film was over, Hank went to bed sober, truly sober, for the first time in months. Connor borrowed a t-shirt to sleep in and curled up next to Hank. His warmth lulled Hank to sleep. And when he woke the next morning, it was to warm lips placing gentle kisses on each of his cheeks, his nose, and his forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://that-was-awesome.tumblr.com/post/176091089783) on tumblr. Also, Clancy the betta fish really exists. He belongs to my friend Max. Check out his fishblr [here](http://ddwfr.tumblr.com/). I mostly included him for the luls, but he's a good fish.
> 
> ETA: Clancy beta has since passed away. He was a good fish and will continue to be remembered.
> 
> You can follow me on twitter on my dbh @hanktitty or on my main @5ftjewishcactus


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